


Who Wouldn't Want a Cookie

by stay_off_my_lawn



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Crack, F/F, a stolen scene from, one day at a time, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14141046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stay_off_my_lawn/pseuds/stay_off_my_lawn
Summary: What if instead of Syd and Elena, we had Kara and Lena go through that painfully awkward but immensely endearing scene at the beginning.Yup, the one with the cookie.





	Who Wouldn't Want a Cookie

**Author's Note:**

> Every since I saw That Scene on One Day At a Time I knew this had to be done. Be warned, this is pure and utter crack. I'm sorry. 
> 
> With borrowed lines from One Day at a Time, "To Zir, With Love"

It has been a crummy week.

No.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

Everywhere Kara turned there was either a rogue alien on a rampage, or a four-alarm fire. Heck, throw in an earthquake and a toxic-gas leak, and that was only her Tuesday. No matter what she did, the city just seemed determined to tear itself apart.

Worst of all, she hasn’t even gotten any time to recharge by hanging out with Lena, at all – all week. Lena has been incommunicado preparing for a new product launch at work which, normally, is fine. Kara is happy to drop by and bring her her favorite icky healthy foods so she remembers to eat, except – extra worst of all – she’s locked away in one of L-Corp’s top secret research levels where not even Kara Danvers BFF extraordinaire has been granted access, super-smile powers or not. And Kara misses her, a lot.

Which is how we wound up with one tired, grumpy, overworked and underfed Kara Danvers slouched over a table at her favorite alien bar, finally getting a well-deserved night off.

.....

Kara looks up when she hears the sweet sound of drinks being set down on the table.

“Thanks Alex,” she sighs in relief, grabbing the closest glass and inhaling its entire contents in one breath before dramatically smashing the empty glass on the floor yelling out, “Another!”

“No,” Alex replied sternly, short of wagging a finger in her face, “You’re cleaning that up. And that was from the special batch that Cisco made for you. So if you want another, you’ll need to pace yourself and take it easy. You remember what happened last time.”

Technically, Kara doesn’t remember what happened after she over indulged last time, but that’s probably part of the problem.

.....

Three Cisco’s special. Three is the magic number.

Three drinks in and Kara is finally starting to feel relaxed. She can literally feel the stress of the week evaporate off her body with each passing second. With her senses dulled, everything feels a little fuzzy, but warm and safe, like being burrito’ed in her favorite blanket.

“ ‘Cause she’s just so, good, you know? Most people don’t even bother giving her a chance, and it’s so sad how much she does without anyone even knowing about it. Like did you know, she secretly spends every Sunday morning at the orphanage? So yeah! Wait, what was your question again?” Kara squints hard trying to remember what Alex had asked.

Except, Alex isn’t there anymore. “Nothing, I haven’t said anything for the past 20 minutes,” Winn says trying to hide a smirk.

“Winn! Buddy! Hi! When did you get here?” Kara asks with her normal exuberance while greeting him with a slap on his shoulder. Hard slap, too hard apparently, based on the wince on his face.

“Kara, remember? Alex got called into the DEO. And now I’m here! Well I’ve been here for - 24 minutes to be exact.“ Winn replies, well-rehearsed with the exasperated patience of someone who’s had to repeat himself one too many times already.

Kara frowns, confused, she doesn’t even remember Alex leaving, or Winn arriving for that matter. Oh well, she shrugs and goes along with it. “Well like I was saying, Lena is quite literally the best, and I just wish …”

Ok, two Cisco’s special. Apparently, two is the magic number.

.....

“I know I know, I just need to suck it up and take a leap of faith, which you know, doesn’t actually mean anything for me, cause the flying and all. But the thing is, I don’t even know if she’s gay. And I really don’t want to be that gay girl who asks out her straight best friend. That’s such a trope.”

Thirty-two minutes in and Kara’s rambling is still going strong. Winn did not sign up for this, babysitting a tired puppy? Gladly! Except no one warned him that he was getting a mopey whiny puppy. On the bright side, while spacing out and nursing his beer, he finally figures out a way to code around that mess that has had him stumped for the past week.

“What I’m really afraid of is that I’ll ask her out and she’ll give me one of those ‘Ohhhhh’s’,” Kara somehow manages to drag three whole syllables out of that last word.

“Wait,” Winn says, his attention piqued and snapping back to Kara, “ ‘Oh’? What does that mean?”

“It means,” Kara explains after a holding for dramatic pause, “I’m not gay and you think I am and now we have a situation.”

“You get all that from an ‘Oh’?” Winn asks incredulously.

Kara’s exaggerated sigh is all the response he got, so he decides he might as well take pity on her and take a stab at this, cause someone needs to.

“Look, growing up we had the most fabulous abuelita living next door. One time she told me this story about this guy on a tractor and a dance down the road - right, all of which is irrelevant right now - but the important thing she had said was this,”

Winn pauses, switching into a surprisingly believable Cuban accent, “ ‘Psssh, how hard can it be? The least you can do is offer her a cookie, and if she doesn’t like it, then it’ll be like she’s rejecting the cookie and not you.’ And for God’s sake, who wants to be with someone who doesn’t even want a cookie?!”

“And was that last bit the abuelita or you?”

“Ok fine, that was me, but c’mon Kara, cookies!”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. Sure beats what I’ve been doing, just staring awkwardly and smelling her hair as she walks by.”

“Yeah you really need to stop doing that. It’s kind of obvious. And creepy.”

 

 

=====

 

 

The world’s worst hangover and a couple weeks later, things are finally settling down to normal again. Whatever triggered the wave of end of world craziness seemed to have subsided and L-Corp’s latest product launched to much acclaim, which really came as no surprise to anyone besides Lena herself.

And the weird awkward shuffle between Kara and Lena is well, back to normal.

.....

_C’mon Lena - get a grip! You have out negotiated career crisis negotiators, have stone-cold bluffed your way into multi-million dollars contracts (once that happened once!), and all you need to do now is to walk up and ask Kara one question. One, question. Come on, Kara accepting an invitation to food is almost as certain as the Newtonian laws. (See, "almost!")_

_Ok fine, did you want to run a distribution across all probable similar universes on the probability of whether one Kara Danvers would actually reject a meal?_

_(Well I would at least argue that we should be using a Poisson binomial ‘cause we’re not animals.)_

_That is literally besides the point young lady! Now stop this pointless internal debate and walk over there like you had agreed to. (Ugh! Fine.)_

Five confident steps later, all of that hot air deflates when Lena spots Kara talking with none other than Eiko Hasigawa, heiress of the Hasigawa clan in Gotham City – intelligent, beautiful, influential, and affluent all rolled into one statue like body – who is apparently in National City for the hospital opening, and is fawning over her, nope, the Kara Danvers.

Lena Luthor doesn’t skulk, but if Lena Luthor was to skulk, it would look suspiciously like what she’s doing now as she hovers over the refreshment table trying to edge into earshot of what Eiko is whispering to make Kara blush like that. The ingrained Luthorian part of her brain is instinctively running simulations to find the best way to “accidentally” let slip to Selina of her girlfriend’s possible transgression.

By the time Eiko finally releases her all too intimate grip on Kara’s naked forearm and attention, Lena is all too desperate to swoop in and take her spot - which apparently is a beat too quick because her brain has not had a chance to catch up and switch back to focus on her impending task, and now she’s drawing a blank and Kara is looking at her all warm and glowing while her own mouth is gaping like an idiot and nothing is coming to mind except "Wow" and she ends up blurting out the last thing that was top of mind –

“So it’s too bad that one has a girlfriend huh,” which is absolutely not how she had intended to open and in turns causes her to fumble even more, which of course makes everything worse because Lena Luthor does not fumble and therefore has no idea how to recover, and her super brain is literally trying to divide by zero right now and has subsequently stopped working while Kara is just looking at her with her adorable puzzled look but also the kindest eyes possible.

And Lena is grasping desperately for something, anything, so she doesn’t literally die of embarrassment, and of all things her attention lands on the cookie Kara is holding which miraculously seems uneaten, “So um, do you want to split that cookie?”

Of course Kara - her sweet, brave, incredibly smart Kara, who is also so good at reading her - takes a barely a whole second to put all the dots together and then looks at her wide-eyed and almost accusingly utters the Three Dreaded Syllables “‘Ohhhhh!!”

“Oh! Never mind! Eh, I thought, sorry, I’m sorry.” Lena sputters out, instantly backing away, face already burning bright red and hanging in shame.

“No no! Wait!” Kara frantically yells as she reaches out after her, “Gay! Me gay!”

“Oh!” Relief washes over Lena as she realizes that she no longer have to go into a self enforced witness protection program. “Eh, me gay too.” She says shyly back to Kara.

“That’s great!”

And the world is ok again because Kara Danvers is standing there looking at her like that and giving her that million dollars smile and all she wants to do is bask in the warmth of it.

“Cookie?”

.....

And this is how these two hopeless idiots who had spent the past too-long orbiting around each other finally asked each other finally got nudged free and went on a proper date.


End file.
